Many listeners know what stuttering sounds like but not what it feels like for the speaker. Anyone can see the physical struggle to get words out by the speaker. Still, the deeper psychological battles are not so obvious. People living with stutters have described how it feels in different unique ways. In his TED talk, Christopher Constantino describes that stuttering feels like you’re stuck–that your vocal cords and mouth are being held hostage by someone else. Ruban Pillar described stuttering as walking along an unreliable bridge (your voice) built over a deep river of shame and embarrassment. At any moment, that bridge could give, and you’d fall into the river. Megan Washington remembers thinking, at a younger age, that she needed only to grow up and her stutter would disappear.
Stuttering, stammering, or childhood-onset fluency disorder affects 1% of the world’s population.
The question today is, how can that 1% and the remaining 99% react to stuttering correctly?
People Living with Stuttering React Uniquely to It
For many people, their reaction starts out as hate that they stutter. They constantly compare themselves to people who do not stutter, sometimes wishing that could be them. With limited management and therapy or lack of proper framing of the situation, stuttering can significantly affect self-esteem as you grow older. Megan Washington discovered at some point as she grew older that the stuttering was there to stay–no days off–except for specific moments. When she sings. For her unique reaction to stuttering, she found that she could hold onto her singing as proof that stuttering doesn’t stop you from finding confidence and achievement.
Ruban Pillar points out that he grew tired of being anxious about failing and falling into the river of shame and embarrassment below. Only then did he face his insecurity enough to learn how to express himself and be himself. The result is that he is no longer afraid of stuttering in public.
Reframing the Situation
Accepting that being born with a stutter wasn’t a choice is often the first milestone in therapy sessions. It shifts the attention from feelings of inadequacy to acceptance of reality. You stutter, yes, and that’s it. No need to feel self-conscious or inadequate.
Before Megan Washington played and sang her piece, uninterrupted by the stutters that usually show up when she talks, she stood before her audience, telling them what it feels like to think words that she may find difficult to say aloud. The name Steve was a challenge every time (especially the St part), no matter how many times she used the word.
Imagine that she never reframed her perception of living with a stutter and never got on stage in front of all those people. Like Ruban Pillar points out, when you do not embrace your situation enough that you can reframe it, you eventually start avoiding it as you grow older–avoiding sounds, words, careers, relationships, and eventually life itself. For Megan, her TEDtalk is a beautiful moment that has since added quality to her life; plus, think how inspiring her talk has become for other people living with a stutter.
Speech Therapy and Coaching Has Come a Long Way
People that lived in ancient times also faced the challenge of stuttering. Demosthenes, for example, was a Greek statesman and orator–a position similar to being an elected member of the U.S. Congress–and he was born with a stutter. History books say that Demosthenes addressed his stutter by speaking with pebbles in his mouth and reciting verses while running.
Demosthenes must’ve found what works because his orations are notable. However, speech therapy has evolved a lot since the ancient Greeks, and if you are terrified, you (or someone you know) may have to speak with pebbles in your mouth; there’s no cause for alarm.
Stuttering has no cure, and modern treatment approaches do not claim to cure it. However, treatment can improve speech fluency, increase the ability to communicate effectively, and participate fully at school, at work, and community. The known approaches for managing stuttering are listed below;
- Speech therapy
- Cognitive Behavior therapy
- Parent and/or Guided Practice and Support at home and school
- Fluency-shaping practice techniques
Eliminate the Discrimination
When people deviate from what is known as the acceptable standard of behavior or activity, we often label them as misfits, inadequate, or abnormal. To many listeners, people who stutter are unintelligent, and this is a discriminatory perspective.
No scientific proof exists that links stuttering with levels of intelligence. Anyone who stutters is likely to excel at any activity or pursuit. When you listen to someone who stutters, wait until they finish their words and maintain natural eye contact. Speak in turns with them, and focus on what they’re telling you.
I hope this helps!