Have you ever wondered if your thoughts mean that you are a terrible person? A person who should never exist in the world, ever?
Well, you are certainly not alone. It’s pretty typical for many people to think that they are terrible because they have terrible thoughts.
Today, we’ll find out if it is true and helpful for you to think that way.
Do Actions Matter More?
Someone once told me that they don’t hate or discriminate against gay people, but they THINK being gay is wrong. The question that followed was whether those thoughts make them homophobic.
My answer was a NO. Then, I added that it’s not a homophobic action, and as far as I can tell, it is the actions that matter. So, after responding, it got me thinking about actions and thoughts and the intensity of both of them.
Personally, I think actions are pretty intense, and I did a little research and found that it is true. Actions are what the judge and the jury in the courtroom and literally everyone else uses to weigh us. Remember the Miranda warning? Yeah, that’s why it makes sense.
No one’s gonna come up to you and tell you that those thoughts are just wrong, and you shouldn’t think them or arrest you for thinking mean thoughts.
Think about this for a sec. No one knows what you are thinking until you perform the action of SPEAKING about it, right?
That’s what I thought. That’s why I decided that actions are pretty intense, and when we compare them with thoughts, thoughts don’t really stand a chance.
It gets more interesting, though, cos, remember, you have to think about things and then take action on those thoughts. We can’t just leave thoughts out of this discussion cos they’re also important.
But, how important are thoughts?
The Power of Thoughts
So, I’m staring at this artwork that one of my students created, thinking that the artwork looks really good. I stand there for a while, taking in the beauty of the artwork, and I don’t even notice that student sneaking up on me until she clears her throat.
Can you think how wide my smile would be if I turned to that student?
Yeah! Pretty wide.
Now, picture the same situation if my thoughts were something like, “Uhhh, I don’t think I know what this art is supposed to be.” or “Hmm… the lines aren’t so well done.” etc., etc.
Different reaction, right?
That is the power of our thoughts.
Sometimes, it’s the nature of our thoughts that seep into our actions and then make us come off as terrible people. Now, you probably already guessed that it is possible to rein in those negative or intolerant thoughts before they can turn into terrible actions.
I think that’s what my friend with the question was able to do successfully. He THOUGHT being gay is wrong, maybe because of his worldviews, religion, or other influences; it could be anything, really. But, his actions were different because he didn’t let his thoughts translate into a homophobic, discriminatory action towards another person.
For me, this is all that really mattered.
Let’s Wrap This Up…
Actions move things around and make things happen in our physical world. Actions are what our friends, family, community can use to hold us accountable, not thoughts. But, when it comes down to it, thoughts also matter because they lead to some specific kinds of action. Thinking mean things do not make you a mean person, but acting out those mean thoughts DEFINITELY makes it clear to everyone that you are being mean. Only mean people are mean to other people.
We should all think kinder, positive, more tolerant thoughts because then we would have kinder, more tolerant actions. It’s really the best of both worlds, but that may not always be possible, and that’s okay too. So, I’m sticking with keeping the mean or terrible thoughts under a leash as much as you can and making sure it never becomes a mean action towards somebody else.
Hope this helps!
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