Everyone could use a friend. Friendships are an essential aspect of our lives; they make our lives more colorful. One question that you may often ask is how to find good friends. Some people find it easy; others may face difficulties connecting with others.
There is no blueprint for finding good friends.
That said, you need to stop thinking your friends must look or act a certain way.
Friends are Whole and Separate Individuals
So, what if you planned all along that your friend or friends should be hyper just like you or like all of the things you like?
Ermm, that’s just another you. Friends are a lot different than that.
I am not saying you will not share certain interests or activities with your friends. I am saying that your thoughts about what your friend should look like or act like may not fit exactly.
Trust me that is the whole point of a friend. Someone with a unique personality that you can learn from, teach, argue with, travel with, struggle through the tough stuff, etc.
Real-Life Friends Are Not Creations of Your Imagination
Have you ever felt disappointed by how your friend acted in the past? Well, welcome to real friends. Real friends tend to act completely outside what you’ve ever imagined because they cannot or will not act or look a certain way.
That is because they are not creations of your imagination.
When you imagine anything, you can often control what goes on in that creation. And no, that does not apply to that separate, whole person with whom you are exploring a friendship.
Looking at how other people have formed their friendships cannot tell you how to form yours either. Sometimes, the best friendships begin in the unlikeliest of places or situations. It can sometimes be this unprecedented event that you could not have scripted or mapped out on your own, which is the sheer beauty of friendship.
Friendships are Best when they Flow.
If you have to force it, it’s probably not meant to be
That’s the whole truth about friendships. Don’t be surprised that you meet someone who ticks all your boxes of how you would want your friends to be, yet you never make it together as friends; before you know it, you’re just passing each other with a low how’s it going orjust hi.
Friendship is more than your checkboxes or list of traits of what your friends should look like or act like. If you’ve been walking around with that list swirling in your head, you might want to consider a different approach to making friends.
Keep an Open Mind and Engage
Several articles online tell you to join groups, take language classes, volunteer, etc. But none of those will work unless you keep an open mind about engaging other people. There’s always the chance you could spend so much time going out to those recommended places to make friends and come up with nothing.
If you pay attention to keeping an open mind, you will realize that finding a friend can happen anywhere, at any time.
I hope this helps!