Let’s get one thing straight, it was OTHER people who started popularizing a two gender (binary) where peoples actions, opinions, and preferences need to fit into “boy” or “girl” ie “blue” and or “pink” so non-binary is the consequence of such rigid and absurd binaries. Don’t be mad that your restrictions caused a new category.
I was still a kid when I realized that I was supposed to act, be, and seem a certain way because I was a boy. Many kids face these same behavior assumptions from everyone around them, and it doesn’t seem like it will stop.
The idea that a biologically male kid, a “boy” should act and look a certain way literally goes against freedom of self-expression. And why? Why are people not allowed to discover their unique self-expression?
Non-binary is a critical response to those cultural standards, assumptions, and expectations thrust on people because they’re biologically male or female. At last, a description of people who just don’t fit into any of the male or female stereotypes in our society today.
But, guess what: some people still choose to call non-binary people difficult.
I mean, judging by the evolution and need for the phrase itself, isn’t it hard enough that there were many people out there who have never felt like they fit anywhere until now? Wouldn’t it be a better reaction to applaud the inclusion and belonging that those groups of people now experience?
Let’s be honest; using appropriate pronouns for people is not that difficult.
Valid for anyone genuinely interested in identifying other people as they prefer instead of as society prefers for them. Using the appropriate pronouns is simply a conscious choice to interact as successfully and respectfully as possible with everyone you meet.
You’re most likely thinking that it is often tricky to figure out the pronoun to use when referring to someone.
To this, I will say, again, it starts with a genuine interest on your part. Trust me, many things that we think are difficult are only so because we’re not looking at those things constructively. When you’re asking for their pronouns, they can identify when you really want to know to communicate better with them and when you’re just plain rude or nosy. Generally, your questioning is polite and non-derogatory when you really want to know, including your choice of words and the way it’s framed, plus the setting.
But, just in case you’re unsure how to proceed, here’s a quick run-down of everything you should note when asking for a person’s pronouns;
Non-Binary is “A Thing”
We’re talking about people’s lives, not some western trend or fad. We cannot deny that young people and adults alike experience shifts in their internal expressions and identification with gender.
Our society may appear more structured, neat, (and boring in my opinion) when boys act like boys and girls act like girls, but the cost of fitting into those boxes is always too high for the people who just don’t fit in.
So, stating that a non-binary person is intentionally difficult only solidifies the rigid, binary, this-or-that boxes for self-expression, we have created in our society. The use of the word non-binary is so important for ensuring that everyone can feel included in a world that was, in fact, made for everyone to co-exist.
I hope this helps!